Turn around and drive!!

I have a pinched nerve in my shoulder! It had been bothering me for months and finally started feeling better. Then one day last week at the grocery store, I turned to take the buggy back and must have twisted just right!  I don't like going to the doctor, so I am just treating it with over the counter pain medication.  It hurts the most when I drive.  This morning after dropping off Alex and Aaron at school the thought crossed my mind "boy, I'm glad the kids aren't babies anymore because I wouldn't be able to reach them!".  I started thinking about just how much I have done, while driving, with one arm completely behind me. They say how dangerous texting and driving is.  Well, they never saw me tending to my kids either!! **knee on the steering wheel, twisted completely around looking for something** Scary thought!! I can't tell you how many bottles I have held with my arm cranked behind me, how many lost pacifiers I've had to dig for, how many hands I have held, legs I have patted to calm them down, heads I have rubbed to try and get them asleep, shoes I have taken off; the number of tissues I have passed back could win some sort of award! Heck, I have even crawled back (of course, I wasn't driving) to test Ethan's blood when he was too small to do it himself.  But, when you hear the words "I feel low"...you move!!!

I miss those days!  I love the young woman and men they are becoming, but sure miss those days when they relied on me for everything.  Momma was right, time sure flies!!

I've posted this before, but I sure love my rear-view mirror view!

Decade of Diabetes!!

A decade!  That is Ethan's response when he is asked how long he has had Type 1 Diabetes!  A decade...how is that possible?  

He came into this world at a whopping 10 lbs 2.5 ounces and was 23 1/2' long!  I gave birth to a toddler!  To say I was as big as a barn, would not give my belly justice!  He was my only baby that came on his own.  I had to be induced with my others and they were 3 weeks late.  Ethan was a great baby! He ate well, slept well and enjoyed entertaining himself. Even as an infant, Ethan wasn't a big cuddle baby.  He was quite content to just lay and people watch!  He loved music and The Wiggles.  As he got older, he was WIDE OPEN! There was no stopping him.  He rarely cried, we got him potty trained right at 2 years old and he was a big helper with his twin brothers.

In December 2005, when he was 2 years old, he started acting strangely.  He started wetting the bed, he would get up 4-5 times a night asking for something to drink, wanted to be held and often cried over nothing in particular.  One evening, the kids had their Christmas program at their daycare.  I remember this with such sadness.  Ethan wouldn't do as I was asking him to get ready.  He was very upset and wouldn't listen.  I was frustrated with getting all 4 of them ready (Emma was 3, Ethan was 2 and the twins were 1) and their Dad was working late.  Ethan just wouldn't listen. And, I did something I will never forgive myself for...I popped him for not listening!!!  I look back now on that little pop and feel so incredibly guilty.

At the program, Ethan's class was dressed up as farm animals surrounding the manger.  Ethan was a sheep.  I take way too many pictures of my kids and was so afraid that if he saw me, he would come off the stage.  All the other kids were up walking around and there sat Ethan.  Not moving, no expression and the color of paste!  He spotted me and raised his little hand and gave me this weak wave.  I cried instantly!

My sad little sheep!

I talked to our pediatrician the next morning.  Of course they ask "whats wrong with him?" and all I could say is that something was off.  They agreed to see me, I'm sure they thought I was a crazy mother. We were lucky enough to see our doctor and she agreed, that he didn't seem like himself. A nurse came in the draw blood and quickly left. We sat in that room for what felt like hours.  In walked the doctor and said she told me to start getting him dressed that the children's hospital was expecting us.  She said the words that I will never forget..."Ethan has diabetes!"  She took the clothes out of my hands and started getting him dressed...I was frozen! We were given a few minutes to make calls to family and get home to pack a bag. I don't remember driving home! I do remember looking in my rear view mirror and Ethan was smiling at me!  

The children's hospital was definitely waiting on us. We walked through the door and was asked if he was Ethan and he was taken right back into the ER. He was hooked up to machines before I could even grasp what was going on. He was crying, I was crying...time stood still!  We were told that his blood sugar level was over 500, as the meter only went to 500.  So, there was no telling what his actual level was at that time. He was in ketoacidosis. We were told that if we had waited 2 more days, that Ethan wouldn't have survived...that was tough to hear!

He is finally getting some much needed rest!

We were in the hospital for 3 days learning how to care for him. He was given insulin shots 4 times a day to keep his levels down. He would cry every time a nurse walked through the door!

Page from his Diabetes scrapbook that I have made for him.
Since it was Christmas time, there were beautiful trees in his unit!

More pictures from his stay!

We were ready to get him home, but so scared! We were given the green light to go home on December 23. Driving away from that hospital was tough.  We second guessed everything we did and were so fearful that we would make a mistake.  But, here we are 10 years later!  Ethan is a wonderful role model to other children with the same diagnosis. He has had so many wonderful opportunities because he has Type 1. He is not ashamed of what he has or who he is. He does not hide the fact that he has diabetes. We didn't want him be afraid of what others would think about him testing his blood or wearing an insulin pump...and he has held true to that.

10 years later!
I love that you can see his pump hose!

Ethan, you make me so proud! I thought I loved that little boy, but I love the young man you are becoming more! You are so sensitive to others that are different. I hope that you keep that understanding and strive to make a difference in their lives. You keep your head held high, keep smiling, stay positive and always know how much you are loved!

Meet Rufus!

As some of you already know, my oldest son Ethan was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the young age of 2.  His "anniversary" is coming up in a few weeks. It is a day that we actually celebrate, because it's the day we got our sweet boy back.  He was days away from having a different story than what he has today! So thankful that we picked up on the fact that he wasn't himself.  I'll post more about that dreadful day later this month.  His decade anniversary is this year...WOW!!

Rufus the Diabetes Bear

Ethan was given many gifts from his hospital stay.  But there is one that he has loved since he was diagnosed.  Say hello to Rufus the Diabetes Bear!  All newly diagnosed T1D kids at Brenner's are given this bear.  It has patches on the areas that can/will be used to test their blood sugar levels & insulin injection sites.  He even came with a medical alert bracelet on his right wrist.  When Ethan first got Rufus, he was the fluffiest, softest bear.  As you can see, he has been well loved on!  Rufus is a constant companion.  He has been on vacations, multiple summer camps and sleepovers.  Ethan does not like leaving Rufus at home.  I would have never thought that a stuffed bear would be so meaningful to Ethan.  This past year, Ethan was able to attend several summer camps and guess who tagged along?  That's right, Rufus!  You would think that a 12 year old boy would be too embarrassed to take a stuffed animal along with him, but that is typical Ethan.  He is not concerned with what others think of him!!  I love that about him.

So, thank you Rufus for giving comfort to Ethan the last 10 years!  I often tell him that Rufus will be going off to college with him one day and he always responds with "Oh yeah!"!!